????????????我????用????右????手????拿????起????第????一????本????，????左????手????指????腹????轻????轻????抚????m0????封????面????的????纹????路????。????翻????开????第????一????页????，????细????细????地????读????了????起????来????。
????????????写????日????记????的????习????惯????是????从????国????一????开????始????的????，????忘????记????一????开????始????是????基????於????什????麽????原????因????写????的????，????似????乎????是????因????为????若????琳????送????了????一????本????日????记????本????给????我????，????因????此????开????始????有????了????写????日????记????的????习????惯????。????只????是????没????想????到????写????日????记????之????後????竟????会????成????为????我????的????JiNg????神????支????柱????，????供????我????宣????泄????一????切????情????绪????。
????????????看????着????国????中????时????的????种????种????心????情????，????前????面????几????篇????都????是????对????於????脱????离????国????小????的????庆????幸????，????以????及????对????於????未????知????的????不????安????，????现????在????看????来????都????只????是????些????单????纯????的????心????思????。????越????後????面????的????篇????章????所????记????述????的????心????情????都????越????发????沉????重????，????内????文????中????提????到????的????种????种????让????我????像????只????受????惊????的????白????兔????，????惊????得????我????加????速????翻????离????，????彷????佛????这????样????就????能????将????那????些????曾????经????翻????去????，????就????能????用????现????在????、????未????来????将????过????往????掩????埋????。
????????????字????数????随????着????升????上????国????三????变????得????越????来????越????少????，????原????本????的????一????天????二????三????页????的????发????泄????文????，????只????剩????下????半????页????，????甚????至????是????草????率????的????三????两????句????血????红????sE????字????迹????，????极????简????的????纪????录????一????天????的????琐????事????，????不????是????因????为????沉????重????的????课????业????，????而????是????因????为????心????情????根????本????没????有????任????何????波????澜????。????习????惯????了????，????就????不????会????再????有????感????觉????。
????????????翻????开????高????中????时????的????日????记????，????一????页????接????一????页????，????反????覆????看????着????自????己????笔????下????文????字????，????却????没????有????半????丝????喜????悦????的????文????字????，????抑????或????着????该???????是????，????没????有????波????澜????的????情????绪????，????制????式????化????般????的????纪????录????。????我????烦????躁????地????把????日????记????丢????回????cH0U????屉????，????却????听????见????一????串????细????碎????的????金????属????碰????撞????声????。
????????????我????把????cH0U????屉????拉????开????，????想????一????探????究????竟????。????取????出????方????才????扔????进????去????的日????记????，????一????把????钥????匙????静????静????地????躺????在????cH0U????屉????里????，????似????乎????是????从????本????中????掉????落????的????。????我????拾????起????钥????匙????，????拿????在????眼????前????左????右????翻????看????，????对????其????毫????无????印????象????，????翻????了????翻????日????记????，????也????未????在????里????头????见????着????什????麽????端????倪????。????只????除????了????一????处????有????着????钥????匙????压????痕????的????书????页????，????让????我????得????知????这????把????钥????匙????的????来????处????。
????????????好????累????，????不????想????管????了????。????我????随????意????地????把????钥????匙????搁????在????桌????上????，????把????自????己????埋????入????被????中????。
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????????????从????床????上????爬????起????来????，????稍????稍????打????理????了????下????自????己????，????打????算????去????学????校????图????书????馆????，????看????书????也????好????、????看????展????览????也????好????，????做????什????麽????都????好????，????就????是????不????要????无????所????事????事????，????不????要????让????头????脑????有????时????间????胡????思????乱????想????。
????????????最????好????永????远????都????没????有????时????间????去????思????考????那????些????情????绪????。
????????????推????开????大????楼????的????铁????门????，????寒????气????瞬????间????包????围????我????，????我????没????有????因????寒????冷????而????颤????抖????，????反????而????放????松????了????下????来????，????因????这????冰????寒????感????到????舒????坦????。????宁????可????被????寒????冬????的????冰????霜????包????围????，????也????不????想????感????受????从????心????口????向????外????蔓????延????的????冰????寒????。????冬????日????的????冰????霜????不????过????是????渴????求????温????暖????拥????抱????的????孩????子????，????因????而????拼????了????命????想????往????众????人????的????怀????里????钻????；????然????而????那????蔓????延????出????的????寒????气????却????是????一????个????极????其????冷????漠????的????孩????子????，????总????是????躲????在????角????落????冷????冷????的????看????着????别????人????，????眼????神????，????外????露????寒????气????。
????????????漫????步????在????空????旷????的????街????道????上????，????感????受????风????的????咆????哮????，????听????在????耳????里????是????悦????耳????的????，????相????较????於????都????市????的????喧????哗????声????，????其????他????声????音????都????彷????佛????天????籁????。????我????不????自????觉????放????慢????脚????步????，????享????受????风????的????嘶????吼????，????一????GU????畅????快????感????油????然????而????生????。
????????????进????到????图????书????馆????，????走????向????展????览????区????，????这????次????我????不????再????是????快????速????的????浏????览????过????，????只????为????寻????找????一????张????能????一????眼????就????映????入????眼????底????的????照????片????，????我????从????第????一????排????开????始????，????一????张????张????的????慢????慢????欣????赏????这????些????作????品????。
????????????每????个????人????的????水????准????都????不????差????，????但????每????张????照????片????似????乎????都????少????了????些????什????麽????，????始????终????对????不????了????我????的????胃????口????，????但????究????竟????缺????少????了????些????什????麽????，????我????却????m0????不????着????头????绪????。
????????????看????了????一????半????左????右????，????我????发????现????绝????大????多????数????的????作????品????拍????摄????的????对????象????都????是????风????景????或????动????、????植????物????，????只????有????极????少????部????分????是????以????人????作????为????拍????摄????对????象????，????就????算????有????，????也????多????半????是????人????群????，????选????择????以????单????一????一????人????做????为????主????轴????的????，????就????我????目????前????看????到????，????只????是????有????沈????羽????梣????一????人????。
????????????观????察????力????细????腻????，????且????观????察????的????点????不????同????於????其????他????人????，????才????能????拍????出????震????撼????人????心????的????照????片????吧????。
????????????我????喜????欢????他????的????作????品????，????但????我????一????点????都????不????想????见????到????他????本????人????。????他????怎????麽????可????以????只????凭????一????眼????，????就????看????穿????我????辛????苦????筑????起????的????防????护????。????又????凭????什????麽????以????这????麽????和????缓????的????态????度????拆????穿????一????切????、????以????这????麽????和????缓????的????态????度????询????问????，????那????个????问????题????！
????????????我????在????迁????怒????，????我????知????道????，????明????明????不????是????他????的????错????，????问????题????也????是????我????提????出????来????的????，????他????不????过????是????回????答????我????的????提????问????。????我????只????是????无????法????接????受????自????己????的????伪????装????，????就????这????麽????被????看????穿????。????心????，????在????他????面????前????是????赤????lU0????lU0????的????。
????????????要????装????得????更????好????，????要????把????心????藏????得????更????深????，????要????让????全????世????界????都????看????不????出????来????。????没????有????人????可????以????捉????m0????到????我????的????情????绪????，????没????有????人????，????可????以????触????m0????到????我????的????心????。
????????????控????制????权????，????永????远????都????要????在????我????手????上????。
????????????我????做????了????个????深????呼????x1????缓????和????情????绪????，????这????才????发????现????下????唇????早????已????被????我????咬????得????微????微????渗????血????了????。
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