EverytimeMulanclosedhereyes,shesawherselfspinningthroughtheairandfethegroundcrunchunderherfeetassheslammeddown.Shesawthevariedlooksoftheothersoldiers—somesurprised,someawed,somebothered.Butmorethananything,shesawHonghuistaringather,anditwasthatlookthatlingeredinhermemory.Hehadseemedsurprised.Asifhehadn’tthoughthercapableofdefeatinghim.Shedidn’tknowwhetherthatmadeherfeelproud,orabitoffended.Eitherway,hislook—andtheothers’—nowhauntedher.
Shestillwasn’tsurewhathadspeoverher.Herbodyhadstartedmovingonitsown.Itwasasthoughaswitchhadbeenflippedandalhetrainingandpracticehadclickedintoplace.Buttherewassomethingmoretoit.Somethingthatfedeeperandbiggerthanher.Whenshehadbeentwirlingthroughtheair,whippingherspearasthoughitwereanextensionofherbody,itfethesameasthedaylongagowhenshehadchasedthechickenthroughherfamily’ssppoundandfallenofftheroof.Then,likenow,shehadbeenunabletoexplainwhathadpossessedher.
Andthatscaredher.
Nowshelayonhersleepingplatform,willinghereyestoclose.Buteverytimesheshifted,herownbodyodorassailedhernostrils.Sheneededtowashherself—andtheday—off.Swingingherlegsovertheplatform,shegrabbedfreshclothesandtiptoedpasttheothersoldiersoutofthebarracks.
Theencampmentwasquietandempty,allofthesoldiersretiredtotheirtentsforthenight,soMulanwasabletomovequickly.Herfootstepsbarelymadeasoundasshefloatedoverthegroundtowardthelakeattheedgeofthecamp.Abrightmoonintheskyaboveilluminateditsstillsurface.Mulansmiledatthesightofthefreshwater.
Takingaquickpeekoverhershouldertomakesurenoonewaslooking,Mulanundressed.Droppingherclothesinapile,sheslippedintothechillywater.
Asighofpureblissescapedherlips.Thewaterwashedawaythedirtthatclungtoherskin,andthechillfegoodonherachingmuscles.Sinkingbeneaththesurface,sheletthesilenceenvelopeher.Shefloatedthere,suspendedbetweenthemurkylakebottomandthesurfaceaboveforalongmoment,herthoughtsslowing.There,inthesilence,shewasonceagainjustMulan.NotHuaJuntryingtoprove“himself.”Shehadn’trealizedhowhardtheacthadbeenonhermentallyuntilnow,whensheallowedherbodyandmindtorelax.
Whenherbreathranout,sheallowedherbodytoriseandreturnedtothelake’ssurface.Keepinghereyesclosed,shefetheairdrythewateronhercheeks.Herhair,heavyfromtheliquid,madeherscalphurtandshereachedforhertopknot,eagertoletitloose.Butjustasherfingerstouchedthelongblackstrands,sheheardavoicecalloutoverthewater.
“HuaJun!”